Just when I thought I was done with online lectures...

...I got a packet in the mail from USADA. Apparently I am a member of the out-of-competition testing pool, meaning I have to register my whereabouts every day with USADA (submitted quarterly and updated as necessary), with a 60-minute time slot of when I'll be available. Once they call me, I have to be ready for a stranger to watch me pee. I was glad to learn that the inspector must have credentials, to prove that he's not just some sort of freak.

No big deal. I logged in to fill out the online form, and learned that before you get to the form, you must watch a series of 4 modules of lectures, with quizzes for each. Quizzes? That's not what I'm doing this for. I was a bit frustrated at first, until I learned the penalty for a missed answer: they tell you the right one! We are athletes, after all.


Some of the questions are pretty hard:


I've only been tested once. It's a little scary. I do take a lot of supplements, and tainted pills are always possible. Then you think maybe those guys that tested positive and said they were innocent were telling the truth, and the lab screwed up. Beats me, but my test came back clean. The whole process is really secure, with all sorts of forms, redundancies, safety seals, and witnesses. It's definitely better than the alternative of not having testing, even if it does require lectures.

Now I have to fill in where I'm going to be every minute for the next three months. Good thing I have more routines than a senior citizen with obsessive-compulsive disorder.